Parenting–a starting point

This seems like the toughest job that I ever had.

I never had any training.

I had some pretty great role models, but no formal training.

I think to myself what are my goals and outcomes for the kids? Always I remind myself that I am looking out for their safety, their well-bieng and ultimately their hapiness.

So why do I feel like I am failing at all of that?

Why does it feel that I am being an overbearing, over protective, bossy and alway correcting dad?

Because that is what I think that I am doing.

Man, do I ever get frustrated that I have to say the same things EVERY DAY!

"Make your bed please"

"wash your face please"

"Brush your teeth please"

"Clean up the toys that you are finished playing with before you start a new game please"

I often think about my time as a child. I will ask myself " what did my parents do that I am not?" Well, they had built in babysitters, in that they had 5 kids, we only have 2. But beyond that they seemed to let a certain amount of entropy occur as we were growing up, and I think that their cree was " what does not kill them, makes them stronger"

What I remember from the 70's  and 80's is that there did not seem to be the all rules that I am trying to enforce. There was the rule of "Do onto others as you would have don to yourself" and that one seems to be working well (except that I have to remind my kids of this EVERY DAY!) There was the rule of "put away your toys" which alo seems to be working (except that I have to remind my kids of this EVERY DAY!) There was the rule of "brush your teeth" (except that I have to remind my kids of this EVERY DAY!) Maybe I need to simplify.

So how can I be the best dad? I think that I have to remind myself that "I am a dad, EVERY DAY". Although it seems frustrating to say the same things over everyday, there is learning in repetition for children (and many adults I know).

I also need to remember what my mother used to tell me " If it won't matter in 5 years, then do not make a fuss over it". I know that she was trying to tell me many things, and that the key to her wisdom was that she left the interpretation up to me. I will encourage my children to find their own truths too.

I want to be the coolest dad, and I want to be a fun-lovong dad that gets to do stuff with my kids. I also realize that there is not nearly enough time to get all of this stuff in while they are young. So I will need to schedule my time with my kids. Prepare some blocks of time so that I can spend it with them, but I have to let go of my expectations, and get back to my "carefree timelessness" that my kids are now experiencing. Just do what they want to do with me is an incredibly fun and soul soothing thing for me to do.